The hope beyond the pain;Norwell girl prospers despite difficult divorce

by Kim Pham

On a beautiful summer afternoon in sunny California, a young girl tugged at her father's pant leg. With wide green eyes, she asked her daddy if he would come to her birthday pool party later that week. With a twinkle in his eye and a smile on his face, Seamus Dempsey promised his precious little girl he would. But when that day finally came, he never showed up. Little did that young girl know, but her daddy was oceans away; Seamus had fled home to his native country of Ireland.
That young girl is now Katie Dempsey, a sophomore at Norwell High School. Like thousands of other children throughout the country, her father left her and her younger brother, Jack. Katie's parents divorced when she was five years old, but it took much longer for her to fully grasp what had occured.
“At first, I didn't understand he had left or how long he would be gone. It wasn't until I was about ten when I realized the situation that my parents were divorced,” she said.
Despite growing up without a father figure, Katie still pushed forward with her life. Her mother, Christine North, is a business attorney with practices in San Francisco and here in the South Shore. Because of her fast-paced career, she is constantly traveling; while Christine was out of town, Katie took on the responsibility of watching over Jack when they were younger.
“When my mom wasn't with us, I felt that I had a sibling duty to protect him and take care of him,” Katie said humbly.
Although she regrets not having her father around during her childhood years, Katie is thankful to have her mother with whom she has a deeply loving and strong tie.
“[The divorce] gives me an appreciation for what she does, because I know she's doing two jobs as both parents...we have a deeper relationship,” Katie said.
Christine feels lucky to have such an understanding daughter and is optimistic about how Katie will go on to succeed.
“Despite all the things beyond her control that Katie has had to deal with, I believe that it gave her a greater outlook on life. I hope that she can take everything she's been through and learn from it so that she can give herself a healthy and happy life,” Christine said.
However, the odds are seemingly against Katie. Children from divorced families are more likely to have academic and social problems, says Robert Hughes, professor and extension specialist in the Department of Human Development and Family Science at Ohio State University. These children are more likely to be aggressive and get in trouble with school authorities or the police. Because of this, they are more likely to have low self-esteem and depression, leading to difficulties in getting along with siblings and peers. Children who grow up in divorced families are also more likely to engage in delinquent activities, to get involved in early sexual activity, and to experiment with illegal drugs.
Katie, however, is the exception in that frightening trend. She remains resilient, thriving on her increased responsibility and the challenges she faces as a child of divorce. Even though her family has moved a total of three times (most recently to Norwell, where she currently attends Norwell High), Katie continues to shine despite the emotional strain and hardships she has endured. She is consistently a Honor Roll student and runs track during all three seasons (cross country in the fall). Katie hopes to follow in her mother's footsteps and enroll at Georgetown University in the fall of 2010 when she graduates high school. It is no doubt a difficult goal, but for such a strong and determined girl, it will seem like nothing.
And as for Seamus, he is still an entire ocean away in Ireland. Katie sees him about every six months or so - “if I'm lucky,” she says with a dry, humorless laugh.
“I'll talk to him maybe once a month, it differs from month to month,” Katie said.
Although she is very rarely able to have a chance to communicate with her dad, Katie still feels like she can move on from the pain and grow as a person.
“I mean of course, I will never forget all the things he's done and how he's changed my life. But as much as I probably should hold it against him, I don't really. As I get older, it becomes easier to deal with and I'll learn how to eventually build a relationship with him again,” she said.
Despite having to cope with the absence of her father, Katie tries not to harbor too much resentment towards him.
“I've suffered a lot because of him,” she said of her rough childhood. “But everyone deserves a second chance.”